EK BAAR TAU FULL DARU KE NASHAY MEI TUNN, BHAREE DOPHARI ,CYCLE PEY TEDA MEDA PADLE MARTAA JAA THAA!!! AAGEY TAY KISSAY KEE AARTHI(DEAD BODY) GAAM AALE LEKEY AAWEN THAY!!! TAU FULL TUNN TAY THAA-E, DE MAARI CYCLE ARTHI THAWANIYAA KAY!!! UNKA BALANCE BIGAD GYAA AUR BHAI WEY SAB TALE GIR GEY, ARTHI KEY TALEY CYCLE AUR ARTHI KAY UPPER TAU JAA PADYAA!!! GAAM AALA NAY MIL KE WO KHUB SAMAAR DIYAA,SAUD SI BHARDI USKI!!! TAU KULHTE-KULHTE BOLYAA: ARRAY BAWALI- BUCHOW, MANAY KYON MAARO SO!!! JISKE TAKKER LAAGI, WO TAY KUCHCH BOLTA BHEE KONYA!!!

dessi ghee

dessi ghee

EK BAAR TAU KAATI ASLI DESI GHEE KA CHURMA KA PIND (LADOO) SE BANWA KE RAIL MEI ROHTAK KENA JAA THA/ SOHIN USKE EK SARDAR BEITHA THA/ ISMAILA GAAM AAYA TE TAU APNA CHURMA KAAD KE KHAN LAGA/ SARDAR UREN PREN DEKH KE NUE BOLYA: O PAHAJI EH KEDA PIND? TAU NE KIT PUNJABI AAWE THI, UNE SOCHI SARDAR KI NIGAH TERE CHURME PE SE KHA GA!! SARDAR NE 2-3 BAAR PHER BUJH LIYA : EH KEDA PIND! TAU KE CHO AAGYA BOLYA SARDAR TE: MERE SASURE KI ITNA DESI GHEE GHAL KE CHURMA KA PIND BANYA UR TU ISNE KARDA BATAAWE SE, LE MARLE KHA KE DEKH ISNE!!!

Gaam ki baat

Gaam ki baat

Ek baar bhai pados main aayee ek nayee bahu tai mazaak karan ek chora hukka bharan ka bahana banaa ke roz aa jaawe tha. Kuch dina ke baad bahu apne pihar chaali gayee ar us chore nai beraa nahi tha, wo chilam leke pahunch gya, ar inghe-unghe nai dekh kai budhiya tai bola : Taii AAG Sai??

Taii boli : Beta ! AAG tai kaal Baara aali gaadi main chali gyaee.

chora jaat ka

chora jaat ka

Ek bar ek Jat ka chhora bus me ja reha tha. Chhora sharaarti tha arr bus me khadi ek
chhori ne chhede tha.
Us bus me ek budhiya bhi baithi thi, jo yo saara nazaara dekhe thi. oos chhore ki harkat dekh ke bohat chow mei aa rahi thee, toh chhore te sabak sikhaan taayee waa chhore te boli "Re Tau kit jaaga?"
Chhore ne uren paren dekha arr sochan lagya ke yaa 70 saal ki budhiya oosne tau kyun bol rahi se. Pher budhiya ki kenah dekh ke wo chup reha. Thodi der rukk ke budhiya pher boli "Tau kitt jaaga?" Chora pher chup reha. Ibb toh bus waale bhi maje le rahen laag re the. Budhiya pher boli "Re tau yo toh bataa uuk tu kitt jaaga?!?"
Ibb chore pe rehaa na gaya urr wo phat bolya "Jaaoon toh mai kite aur thaa, par ibb nyue sochun su uuk teri khatir ek chora dekh aaoon!"

shivji

ek bai..khet mai..ek jaat hall bahan laag ra tha..uppar kai shiv ji parvati jaan the..parvati nai dekha..tai shiji tai boli...parabhu...yo bechara itni garmi mai...kaal ho ra hai..iski madad kardo..shivji bola bawali hai ke..YO JAT SAI INTE BACH KAI YE REHNA CHAHIYE..shivji ke kayi baarsamjhan tai bhi na maanni...tai last mai..donu jane paragat hoge..jat aage..shivjiu bolla ..ek maag ke vardaan mangna hai...jat bolla.VARDAAN NAI CHOR ...NU BATA YO GANDASA KIT TAI LAYA HAI...JASE HI WO PARVATI MAI JHAPTA...we dono..gayab hoge...ek din jaat ki mot hogi...er wo mar kai..uppar gya..tai..line laag ri thi..er shivji-parvati aage baithe the...faisla karan khattar...er kun sawar bhejna hi er kun narak..jat ka no. aya...tai shivji bolla aaj tu sahi fansa hai mere abhi batata hun tere ko.....jat bolla..MAI KE FANSA HUN....FUNSE TAI TU GYA AAJ MERE...US DIN TAI BHJA GA THA...ES GANDASE NAI LE KAI...AAJ BATA KIT BHAJEGA.....[ERR NYU KAI TE YE......SHIVJI PARVAT AAGE AAGE ER JAT PACHE PACHE..]

sir pe khaat

ek be ek teli JAAT te bolya
"JAAT re JAAT tere sir pe khaat."
JAAT teli te bolya
"teli re teli tere sir pe kohlu."
teli bolya bhai JAAT ke yo kuch jachya konya
JAAT bolya jachya konya par bojh te maare ga

sunddu baba

sunddu baba ban gya....gaam gaam handte uske 20-25 chele bhi bange....er uska acha naam bhi hoga.......ek bai wo ek gaam mai dera la ra tha...us gaam mai sukha pad ra tha...sube sube ek kisan aya..ek baba manne apka bahot naam suna hai.....mere 2 kille hai barish kara do...mai apne 2000 Rs. dunga...2 killan ki baat thi....saare chella nai laag kai ...baltiyan-baltiyan donu kille bhar diye...baat saare gaam mai fel gi...agle din ek or kisaan...aya bola baba ji mere 10 kille hain baarish karwado mai 10000 Rs. dunaga....chele bichare saari raat ke thake haare pade the...ek bola dur tai ye...ek baba ji dekh kai haan bhariyo......badlaan ki dehi tuti padi hain........

JAT KA ............KARJAA

JAT KA ............KARJAA
ek bai ek jat nai baniye dhore karja le rakha tha......er ulta nahi kare tha.....ek din baniye nai kise aage...jat ki bejati kardi...ek mere pisse ulte kad dewega......jat bola.....baniye kaal tyaar rahiye......tera agla-pachla saara karja taar dunga....agle din jat bad baaja le kai baniye kai ghara ponch gya...er ban alla tahi katadi ek band bajana suru kardo jor jor tai.....er bittar ja kai baniye ki sod si bhardi [pitayi kar di]tassalli tai.....er saari bahi paad di........ek din baniya apne balkan gel kite ja tha.....raah mai kise kai bhya tha...bahar band baja baje tha...balak bole babu yo ke hora hai......baniya bola..aree chup chap likad lo "kise jaat ka karja uttar ta hoga".....

PEHLWAAN

Ek baar ki baat se, ek JAT ram desi aadmi ghana e sehat te kamjor tha ar wo aapni khaat gali mei ghaal ke baitha hooka pivah tha. Gaal mah shaami tah ek tampo aala aagya :
Tampo aala: Pahlwaan hatiye bhai , diye maadi se jagah ....
JAT bolya : leh bhai jab tane Pahlwaan e kah diya to eeb to upar ke taar le jya!!!

english karo!

ek baar ek angrezi ka master jaat ke balak ne bahut tung kara karta roz isse sawal karta uk oos chore ne aamte nahi ur roz murga banta! ek din chora kati kamar kas ke puri tayari te aaya aur aate hee masterji se puchaa: masterji iski english karo "mahara nyaar kaatan ka gandasa Lapoosade chode se!!! Karo ib

dhol

dhol

Ek baar Tau ka chora kite te radio le aaya chota sa/ ur us radio ne khub jor jor te angrezi gaane 24sa ghante chalawe/ eb tau kati oos radio ne sun sun ke ghana tang ho liya tha! roz chore te kahta :re is saake ne band karle ,per wo nahi mana! ek din issa mauka laga uk chora kite jaa rah tha/Tau ne aaw dekha naa taaw ur us radio ke 2 lath maare bhai jamake/ lath lagte e radio mei tey uske mote mote 2 cell likad ke pade,gaye ludkate uren paren/ Tau un ne dekh ke bolya:ib be te bhaje mere sasure apne dhol thake!!!

sharabi!

sharabi!

ek jaat wo bhi sharabi ek din khambe ne pakde khada raat ne/ full tuun tha bhai/ ek police wala whahan se gujar raha tha, usne jab usko dekha to: socha ki is se iski tarah hee baat kari jaye to ye jaldi samjhega/ ib jaat baar baar us khambe pe thokar maare ur gail ruka maare: darwaza khol meri ramkali mei aa gaya! Policewale ne kahi :baat sun bhai ghara koi na hoga tu jaa!/ jaat chow mei aagaya nue bolya policewale te: mere sasure ki upar aali manzil pe light balan laag ri se , ur tu nue khah se ghara koi kona!!!

CHUHE KI POONCH

CHUHE KI POONCH

EK BAAR EK BILLY(CAT) KE MOOSA(CHUHA) DIKH GAYA/ BAAT MEI BAITHI THI/ MAARA EK ZAPATA UR BHAI OOS CHUHE KI POONCH THYAGI BILLY KE/ POONCH EK JHATKE MEI TUT GAI AUR WO CHUHE NE BHAI EK DUM LAANDA (DAUD MARDI)LA DIYA/ BILLY NE SOCHI KYOKAR BAHKA KE ULTA BULAOON ISNE, NUE BOLI: RE CHUHE APNI POONCH TE LEJA/ CHUHA BHAJTE BHAJTE BOLYA: E-RAHAN DE HUM TE LAANDE-PUCHE-E(BINA POONCH KE) KHA KAMA LENGE, POONCH NE TU-E RAAKH./KAH KE CHUHA GOLI GAYA BHAI UR BILLY REHGI MUH DEKHTI AAPNA.

ITNE MEI TE NAYI AA ZAAGI

ITNE MEI TE NAYI AA ZAAGI

Ek baar tai ki tabiyat gayi bigad/ thik hon ka naam nahi / Thak haar ke Tau usne ek Badiya Doctor ke legya! Doctor ne Tai ka haal dekh ke bolya Tau te : Bhai yaa thik te hojagi per 5000/- rupaye laagjage/ Haad kati jaam hore se unme tel-taal dena padega/ Tau bolya :Rey Daactor rehen de mane iska ilaaz na karana, 5000 te mera jab iste byaah hoya tha jab na laage/ Iste saste mei ek aur nai aazagi!!!

JAAT KI ANGREZI BACK!!!

SAAL 1962 ki baat se bhai jung hori thi! Usse time pe, le de ke ek fauji ka byah hoga! sardiyan ke din the , uska byaah hote e uski posting border pe hogi! ib bichare ka jee na lage ude! bahut sharma- sharmi une apne babu te chithi likhi gaam mei: Yahan per ghana jadaa se , meri razai bhej dyo! (ib ishara te tha apni bahu ka, uk usne bhej dyo) per uske babu ne samajh koni aayi usne ulat jawab mei chithi likhi: beta teri razai te paati padi se, isliye mei tere bade bhai ki razai bhej raha hun!!! sambahal liye! Baki sab razzi khushi.: tera babu bharte!

Jodha-Akbar!!!

Jodha-Akbar!!!

BHAI REY!!! EK DIN NUE BANNI , AAJ KAAL KAY MODREN MIYAA- BIBI, EK SAATH DARU PEEN LAAG RAY, EK TAI NAY DEKH LIYAA,JAB WEY NUE KAHREY PEETAY-PEETAY DARU: LEY SHAHZAADI, LEY SHAHZAADE!!! JAB UNN DONU SHAHZADI AUR SHAHZAADE KAY DARU KAY 4 PEG BHITAAR NAY JAA LIYE, TAY TAAI UDDE KAY PHER JAA THEE, USNE SUNNA: LEY DADI- LEY DADA!!! TAI JAATE-JAATE BOLI: ARREY DADA-DADI IBB MANAA PIYO OOR, SHAHZADA AR SHAHZADI TAY JAA LIYE , IBB TAMM BHEE GADLOY!!!